Vacation let down.
Have you ever been disappointed that a holiday didn’t turn out the way you had hoped?
This happened to me a number of years ago when I returned from a vacation – less than satisfied.
Debriefing after the fact, I found out a few things that – had I communicated more beforehand, could have made a huge difference.
There are two very simple things you can do to up your chances of having vacation victory vs disappointment
Be sure to prepare well in advance by:
- 1. Asking the people you will be with what they are expecting
- 2. Letting them know what you are expecting
It’s amazing how much conflict and disappointment can be avoided by doing these two simple things.
And be sure you know what they really mean by what they say.
For example, if their answer is “lots of time spent relaxing” – you might want to find out what they mean by “lots of time”, and what is their idea of “relaxing”? What exactly are they picturing when they say this? Have them describe to you their dreams of an “ideal vacation”, and then be sure to share with them yours.
The more specific everyone is – the less the chance of surprise, disappointment, and upset.
And are each person’s expectations achievable? Do they conflict with each other? If so, what can you do now to come up with plans that work for everyone?
Gift giving can also lead to less than satisfying outcomes.
It took me many of our 30 years of marriage to finally catch on that the gifts we had been giving each other were the kinds of gifts we each wanted to get (and they aren’t the same!)
Understanding what is important to someone else is a skill and because we each see the world in our own unique way, we can often assume that what we care about also matters to the people around us.
Not the case!
Set yourself up for successful gift-giving, and vacation time – by really paying attention to finding out what matters most to the people around you. You may be quite surprised by what you learn.
For more information about how our different views on the world impact our relationships, especially with that significant other – stay tuned! I will be announcing a new program designed specifically to empower couples to have their relationships be less conflict ridden and more fun filled.
Wishing you and your families a beautiful Christmas spent with the people you love, doing things you enjoy, and being the person you most want to be.