In my personal life as a somewhat, ok – very – competitive athlete, I love it when my team is winning. We high 5 each other, yell “WE’RE KICKING BUTT!”, and – for at least a brief moment, feel that wonderful euphoria of success…

In the world of personal development, “kicking but” has a completely different, yet equally exciting – implication. It has to do with how we experience seemingly conflicting desires; those times when there are two things that you want, but they seem to be mutually exclusive, and just thinking about them leaves you feeling deflated.

Imagine if one small change could move you to being empowered when these thoughts come up. Imagine if – instead of feeling stressed, drained, defeated or resigned, you could feel energized, empowered and excited – wouldn’t that be amazing?

How to have what you really want

I learned this little trick years ago from one of my coaches, and a post-it sits on the edge of my computer screen reminding me…

You might want to grab some paper and a pen for this next part.

  1. Think about some things that you want. They may include tangibles like a new car, new furniture, or more money in savings. Or something you want to do – like travel around the world, hike across Scotland, or do a triathlon. Or something more personal – a way of being you would like to take on, like being more patient with your kids, kinder to a parent, more successful in your career, or more self-expressed in work relationships.
  2. Now look at each of these things you have written down, and notice the thoughts you have about achieving each one. Do you have any “buts”? For example – I want to have a bigger boat, but I need to put money away for retirement. I want to spend more time with my parents, but I have so much to do at work. I want to be more compassionate with my friend who’s injured, but I’m irritated that they complain and don’t do anything about it.

Now pick one of your “but” statements – one that has some real energy on it for you, and try this –

Say the statement out loud, and as you do – notice how you feel when you say it; notice your emotional state, and if your body feels light or heavy, if you feel inspired, beaten down, energized or tired.

Now take that same statement and replace the “but” with “and”. Read it out loud to yourself again, and notice how you feel – what your emotional state is now. Do you feel any differently about the situation, yourself, or the other person? Do any new points of view or solutions come to mind? If they do, write those down as well.

If this exercise opened up anything for you – try the “Kicking But Challenge” for a day

Every time you hear yourself using the word “but” – replace it with “and”, check in with how you feel emotionally, and let me know how it goes!

Every time you hear yourself using the word “but” – replace it with “and”; then check in with how you feel emotionally

Kicking that one little word from your vocabulary may be just what you need to be, do, or have what you want next in your life.

If your list included ANYTHING about any of the relationships in your life – including your relationship with yourself – my upcoming webinar series may be of interest to you. Check it out! There are just a few spaces left so if you think you want to do this – take out the “but”, replace it with “and”, and take action NOW!

Wishing you more fun, freedom and joy in your life!

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